Gender Blog by Darlene Tando, LCSW

Just like any variation of the human condition, some people are left-handed, and some people are not. Some people have two different colored eyes, and some people don’t. Some people are allergic to dairy, and some people are not.

Some people are transgender, and some people are not.

In some of the trainings I do, I ask the question: when is gender pathological? It’s basically a trick question, because gender isn’t pathological. Gender just is. It has neither good nor bad qualities. Yes, distress can come from feeling like your exterior presentation does not match your brain gender identity, and distress can come from society not understanding your gender, but gender in and of itself isn’t distressing. It just is, and we all have a gender identity even if that gender identity means not having a gender at all.

Some people are transgender, and some people are not.

Parents come to me with various theories for why their child may be transgender, or at least “presenting” as transgender. I’ve heard many different theories over the course of my years in working with transgender children, and many similar ones. I think space needs to be held for these parents wondering “why?”, and their theories should be listened to and considered. However, sooner rather than later there needs to be a time to take the “why?” and replace that with “OK, now what?”. In the end, the “why” doesn’t really matter. What matters is the child’s happiness.

My theory?

Some people are transgender, and some people are not.

Some people wrongly believe that being transgender is some form or sign of mental illness. In fact, even some professionals will use the term “co-occurring” when they speak of someone being transgender along with having a mental illness. Being transgender is not a mental illness. There is not a certain “type” of person with a certain set of presenting problems who is transgender.

Say it with me:

Some people are transgender, and some people are not.

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*This blog post is going live on October, 24, 2015, the International Day of Action for Trans Depathologization, an annual day created by Campaign Stop Trans Pathologization. Let’s stop pathologizing gender… because simply some people are transgender, and some people are not. 🙂