Stop Trans Pathologization*: Some People Are Transgender, and Some People Are Not

Just like any variation of the human condition, some people are left-handed, and some people are not. Some people have two different colored eyes, and some people don’t. Some people are allergic to dairy, and some people are not.

Some people are transgender, and some people are not.

In some of the trainings I do, I ask the question: when is gender pathological? It’s basically a trick question, because gender isn’t pathological. Gender just is. It has neither good nor bad qualities. Yes, distress can come from feeling like your exterior presentation does not match your brain gender identity, and distress can come from society not understanding your gender, but gender in and of itself isn’t distressing. It just is, and we all have a gender identity even if that gender identity means not having a gender at all.

Some people are transgender, and some people are not.

Parents come to me with various theories for why their child may be transgender, or at least “presenting” as transgender. I’ve heard many different theories over the course of my years in working with transgender children, and many similar ones. I think space needs to be held for these parents wondering “why?”, and their theories should be listened to and considered. However, sooner rather than later there needs to be a time to take the “why?” and replace that with “OK, now what?”. In the end, the “why” doesn’t really matter. What matters is the child’s happiness.

My theory?

Some people are transgender, and some people are not.

Some people wrongly believe that being transgender is some form or sign of mental illness. In fact, even some professionals will use the term “co-occurring” when they speak of someone being transgender along with having a mental illness. Being transgender is not a mental illness. There is not a certain “type” of person with a certain set of presenting problems who is transgender.

Say it with me:

Some people are transgender, and some people are not.

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*This blog post is going live on October, 24, 2015, the International Day of Action for Trans Depathologization, an annual day created by Campaign Stop Trans Pathologization. Let’s stop pathologizing gender… because simply some people are transgender, and some people are not. 🙂

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Legal Name and Gender Change: Detailed Information with SAMPLE PACKETS (California)

I have been meaning to post this for quite a while, but I have been shorter on time than I have on good intentions. 🙂 I know this is something that many people need assistance with, as filing a name and gender change (for yourself or your child) can be a daunting undertaking. Please keep in mind it typically takes 6 weeks from filing the documents to court date with a completed court order.

I want to give a huge “thank you” to Emmett for putting together a list of step-by-step instructions for filing a name and gender change and providing me with the court paperwork for an adult. Also, special thanks to Britt for providing the sample paperwork for a name/gender change for a minor.

I took the paperwork and filled out “sample” packets for each. The areas you need to fill out are highlighted. These didn’t scan well, so I apologize for the poor quality. If you have any trouble reading them, please let me know and I will either re-scan or I can answer specific questions. The files are too large to email. I know these are specific for San Diego, but I hope they will be useful to those in other parts of the state as well. If you are one of my clients and see me in my office, please ask me for a copy of the sample packets- I have several on hand!

Click here for the Transgender Law Center’s page with links to forms needed. (San Diego County link listed below.) For those of you not in San Diego, simply Google your county and “name and gender change”. PLEASE NOTE, DUE TO AB1121,  IF YOU ARE CHANGING YOUR NAME TO REFLECT YOUR GENDER IDENTITY, YOU NO LONGER HAVE TO PUBLISH ANYTHING IN THE NEWSPAPER. If the court is unaware of this, educate them.

Here is the Transgender Law Center’s awesome resource, “ID Please” that includes UPDATED information on changing name, gender, etc.  If you are interested in pursuing a name and gender change, start on page 9. If you ONLY need to change your child’s gender marker (keeping birth name), and your child was born in California: click here.

Filing the packet costs $435 (at least in San Diego), but the fee can be waived based on low income. (“In Forma Pauperis“.)

Youth (minor) name and gender change sample packet HERE.

Adult name and gender change sample packet HERE.

BEFORE YOUR COURT DATE

(Thanks again to Emmett for these detailed notes!)

Print all necessary forms and fill them out (or have them filled out, as is the case for the doctor one, NC-210). Here is the website for printing the forms for San Diego.

Forms needed for an both an adult or a minor name/gender change:

CM-010

NC-220

NC-230

NC-200

NC-210

NC-110

-Make a copy of signed/filled out paperwork for your records. Bring the original packet and a copy of the packet to 330 W. Broadway. (Downtown San Diego).

-Once you pass the security check, take the escalator up to the second floor & the Civil Business area.

-It can be a little confusing, so ask someone if you are lost.

-Get in line on the far left of the room and wait to file your forms with the clerk.

-They will go over all your forms, stamp them and give you a case number.

-They may try to tell you that you need to publish your name change, REMEMBER that AB 1121 went into effect July 1, 2014 that states that a person changing their name for gender purposes is not required to publish.

-They will give you a court hearing date and time.

DURING YOUR COURT DATE

-Show up early.

-Bring both copies of all the documents and a pen.

-Give yourself time to find the court room.

-Sit down and wait outside.

-A lot of people will likely start showing up because people legally change their names for a variety of reasons (marriage, divorce, etc).

-Someone will come out and point to a list that is up on the wall. The list has everyone’s name on it and a number next to it. Find out what number you are and write it down. They call out cases by number and sometimes last name (so don’t worry about your birth name being called out!)

-They sometimes call in everyone that is getting both a name and gender change first because there are fewer people and it’s a more private matter than a marriage.

-You will get called in, you will be seated, the judge will come in, they will review your documents, and if everything is in order: declare your new legal name. (Congratulations!)

-After that they will tell you to go wait outside and they will bring you four signed copies of the court order.

-Do not worry about your physical appearance or gender presentation. If all the forms are filled out, especially the physician form, the judge does not care.

-You can leave and celebrate. 🙂

AFTER YOUR COURT DATE

Your work is not done! There are more documents to change that had your birth name on them. These documents are supposed to “match” in the system, so this is important. Here’s the order you must go in.

1) Social security

-1333 Front St, San Diego, CA 92101. (855) 820-0097

-Fill out this form for a CORRECTED social security card

You’ll need to bring your court order (form NC-230), identification (driver’s license, ID or passport) and the form above filled out.

-No need to make an appointment, just walk in and take a number.

-Allow 4-6 weeks for the card to come in the mail.

-IMPORTANT The form does not include a specific gender change. So in the “sex” section mark the gender that you legally changed to (transmasculine folks mark male, transfeminine folks mark female) and make sure to point it out on the form when they call you up. It doesn’t say your gender marker on the card, but it does in their system, and that’s how the DMV verifies your gender when you go there to change your documents. Confirm they have changed it in their system.

2) DMV

-Go to whichever DMV is closest to you. Make an appointment, or get there early.

-Fill out this form with your doctor BEFORE going to the DMV

You’ll need to bring your court order (form NC-230), identification (driver’s license or ID) and the form above filled out.

-You will also need to fill out form DL 44 (name change), but they give you that when you show up.

-They’ll call you up, review your forms, tell you everything is good and send you over to get a new photo taken.

-Allow 4-6 weeks for you Driver’s license to come in the mail. They will send you an ID card sooner than that.

3) Bank

-IMPORTANT you must have your updated ID or driver’s license BEFORE going to your bank. They use it as proof that you are who you say you are.

-Go in and ask to see a teller.

-Bring your court order (just in case), and your new ID or driver’s license.

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In the near future I will be posting more detailed information about how to change your birth certificate and password- stay tuned!

If you have any information that would be helpful to add to this blog post, please email me at tandotherapy@me.com

One more time, here are the sample packets!

MINOR PACKET

ADULT PACKET